Change.

Change equals life. We are born on this planet with an encoded set of individual genetic characteristics. To a certain extent this modifies the person we become. Our enivironment molds us. But all of us hold within us inifinite possibilities. However, it is up to the individual to try and let the full potential of our being manifest itself over the course of our lives.

The most vital thing in the human development in my mind is the acceptance of change. There is no limit to personal growth. We are forever changing beings. With this in mind we could also say that we can never be ready. And that to me means freedom. In a way it also takes the pressure off, because there is no one end result we are aiming at.

But why is it so difficult to accept change? Why are we so deterministic? Somehow we are programmed - by our culture perhaps - to be holding on to our initial beliefs, thoughts and plans. Even though our world is in constant motion and things develop rapidly, so many of us try to keep holding on to the old. One must stick to a certain career, even though it has proven to make one very unhappy, because "I worked hard for it". One must stay in a destructive relationship, because "I must follow through what I have started".

All of this seems absolutely ludicrous thinking about it. Our journey in life is completely unknown, so it is impossible to predict what kind of people we will meet and the experiences we will have, and these are the things that eventually will shake us and lead us to question the person we are, and if we are open, cause us to change. If only we realised that it is not a sign of weakness to change. To me it's quite the opposite, I see it as a sign of courage and strenght to be able to accept and admit "no, this isn't me anymore". And anyway, in most cases we simply don't know what we truly want until we have experienced it, or what we truly think until we have been challenged.

I believe the number one cause for unhappiness is knowing you want change but not letting it happen. In a way this is good, because it means unhappiness belongs in our lives, it is actually the driving force for change. Of course, by no means am I suggesting that change is easy. We know from psychology that all major changes, whether they were good or bad, cause a crisis on a personal level. But once we understand that change is in fact the characteristic nature of life, we learn to deal with the crises better. 

I'm thinking of the phrase "I didn't know better." It's a way of saying "I forgive myself". Understanding how life works helps us learn mercy on ourselves. We did the things we did based on our values and beliefs of the time. But it is our responsibility to have an open heart and keep looking, in order to be challenged and reformed over and over again. Until "we know better", once again.

We think we have time.

When in truth now is all we have. Time is now. The past doesn't hold us back, nor does the future have any promises for us. Every day is a new beginning. This is a fact.

We have closed our eyes from everything spiritual and therefore search meaning from everything material. We have given up our dreams and forgotten that we can actually choose how we live. Money holds us back only if we let it. When one has understood this, one has also understood that freedom is possible. Everything that prevents us from being free are the products of the prison we ourselves have created around us.

Somehow, we have disregarded the power of our minds. We seem to be under the illusion that learning can only happen inside an institution, even though the capacity for individual learning is infinite and by no means has to be linked to an educational system of any kind. If we really used all of our senses and became fully aware of this incredible world around us, we would start seeing patterns, unity, the underlying principles of Nature. We would learn.

We have mentally separated ourselves from Nature, no longer understanding that the energy in our cells is the very building material of the Universe, that our entire biological system and the brain work on the same frequences as the Earth. We live as if we were superior to Nature - destroying Nature, the very substance that gives life to us. Therefore we are actually destroying each other.

But nothing, absolutely nothing stops us from changing the way we live. Nothing prevents us from becoming aware of our actions, but our own ignorance, which in itself is a choice.

The Dove in Me

As if your skies

Had fiery red clouds.

The same fire that lies

Behind those dark brown eyes.

Mine filled with silky blue dreams

Prayers

For light, truth

Eternal peace.

You don't believe in dreams.

You're a lion

Running the night

Hungry, fearless

Ready to fight.

I am running too.

In my dreams 

I run to you.

But would

The lion 

In you

Eat

The dove 

In me?

Though, 

What is left in living

If a lion scared to fly

And a dove 

Scared to dare

Die?

So I will sing to you

'Till my song turns my skies

Red from blue

And I can run the night

A lioness by you.

Let's start by getting to know each other a bit.

So where am I coming from?

I've been writing a journal for a year now. It began as a necessary means to organize my mind as my inner life was rapidly changing.  Perhaps it was my first life crisis, or a sort of an awekening to the reality. Long story short, certain meetings and events started to increasingly alter my way of seeing life and I myself began to take new form.

So I wrote. Like a stream of consciousness flooding down onto the paper, I was trying to make sense of what was happening to me. And as I kept writing, I kept changing.
I have now discovered that is what Albert Einstein called 'education' - not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think.

Why blog? The world today is more connected than ever before, I think we can all fairly easily agree to that. Yet we go on leading very isolated lives. Sure we're all buzzing in the social media, but no matter how many links we post or photos we put up, how many of us are actually sharing our thoughts? Could it be that many of us don't really even know how (or better yet, who) we are? Has our inner voice stopped speaking to us?

Let's look at this from another angle. Privacy is a right, is it not? Are we not told by every possible channel that we have the right to protect our lives? To live in our own little boxes and make our own little money, but crash and burn on our own if we fail. We have the right to have our own sexual orientations, spiritual views and political stand - and to keep all that strongly to ourselves.

Why should we need to keep our true thoughts to ourselves and only speak on the surface of things? To protect our "public image"? I have learnt that nothing moves in an environment where everyone is trying to fill everyone else's expectations of themselves. Environments including Facebook.

We could call that disconnection, unengagement, and  alienation. From ourselves and from the world. Imagine a scenario where mental strain, or financial difficulties, or lack of motivation is starting to affect your well-being. Since this society is built to adore personal success, your personal struggle is a very undesirable matter to bring up. So we again keep things to ourselves.

Perhaps individualism increases isolation. Perhaps isolation creates anxiety and depression. Perhaps depression makes our minds numb. Perhaps numbness disconnects us from ourselves and the world which we live in. What if we end up becoming just miserable mirror images of each other, trying to keep calm and carry on? A world of individuals who have stopped speaking, stopped caring, stopped believing and stopped taking any kind of true responsibility of our actions.

What do you think?

The contemplative Sr Marie De La Trinite wrote "I must put what I know into practice, and before all else make sure that love and humility are at the centre of my soul."

With love,
Henna

Hello world. Started a blog.

Now, anyone who knows me knows I used to quite strongly resent the idea of blogging. The idea, that anyone anywhere could be writing a blog felt to me like the written version of reality TV. No one is there to monitor the quality of the posts, correct the spelling or look at the standards of the contents in any way. Suddenly everyone was a writer.

Took me a few years to understand what that possibility might actually mean. My goal is very simple. I am going to try and speak to people. Not just friends, everyone. So instead of standing at the Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park, I am going to transfer my nocturnal notes to blog posts.

Let this be my first piece of writing to you all. We will see what comes out of this, won’t we?

With love, 

Henna