On the journey of personal evolution we constantly meet people who challenge us. Some of them are there to open our eyes to truth and guide us further. Others are there to poke us and make us feel uncomfortable about our new life choices. Choices such as not consuming alcohol, or avoiding sugary treats. They say that you must be flexible with your values to make others feel accepted. Of course it is wonderful to have consideration for others, but they fail to understand that in order for the person to "be flexible" he is asked to cause himself guilt and a sense of failure from having gone against his own values. What for? Is it not completely backwards to go against the conscious choice of one, in order to feed the ignorance and insecurity of others? It is not always easy to see the highest wisdom in everything, but of course the poking and bullying is happening for a reason too.
As a simple example lets think about the reason why someone would not want to eat honey. Instead of drawing negative conclusions of the person or ridiculing them, we could ask them and find out what is the issue with honey. Perhaps this way we could learn that in order for the bees to produce only one pound of honey, they must visit 2 million flowers and fly a distance of over 55,000 miles, and because of this the person does not feel they have the right to take the nectar the bees have collected for themselves with such incredibly hard work. Perhaps the person is also concerned about the disappearance of bees which is increasing at an alarming rate. Perhaps to the person the flavour or the fact that honey is the most enzyme rich substance to eat for humans is absolutely secondary to the right of the honey bee as a species to be left alone.
Some people think that aspiring to live your life according to your values is somehow restricting yourself. They tell you that “you’re taking life too seriously”, or “it’s not so black and white”. But they completely lack the comprehension of the bigger picture. There is no greater sense of liberation than knowing that the choices you make in your everyday life are aligned with your values. It makes one free. It brings one happiness, empowerment and integrity on the deepest level.
It can be disappointing to realise that someone you love does not seem to share the same values as you. But it does not necessarily mean they do not share those values deep down inside. Indeed, they just might have not found the back bone or that moral fibre in themselves yet. Perhaps they very much want to change, but they do not know how, or where to find the strength to take the first step. Or maybe their priorities just are different, and they are working on other equally important aspects of their lives instead.
What we have to remember is that change comes with responsibility. Living life consciously aware is like becoming a mirror to the people around you. And the image they see is not always nice. That conflict of inner and outer image, or ‘cognitive dissonance’, is the reason why some people start poking you, demeaning your efforts and ridiculing you. Only because within they know they are sticking to harmful ways. They are in denial, full of excuses and extremely uncomfortable with the idea of having to change their own way of living. We must not lower ourselves to judgement or anger, but learn to find the love and wisdom to see beyond the prejudice.
We tend to forget that the first step to healing is always resistance. Every single person who has transformed themselves has first had to battle their own demons. Each and every learned person has first been ignorant. It takes one to deeply look at their lives and then recognise what aspects of it are not serving them any longer to make a change. We can ask ourselves, “What is stopping me from becoming the person I know I truly am?” And instead of feeling envious or inferior to the people who are actually changing their lives for the better, why not use it as a positive example?
Like the old Chinese proverb goes: “The person who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt the person who is doing it.”
